a theorem.

When preparing hot dogs in a kitchen with dachshunds present, the likelihood of accidentally dropping a hot dog onto the kitchen floor is directly proportional to the number of dachshunds sitting on that floor and wishing for this event to occur.

Furthermore, the likelihood of such an accidental drop is on a base-10 logarithmic scale: the presence of multiple dachshunds increases the chance of the drop exponentially.

An alternate theory is the idea that four dachshunds tracking the hot dogs and simultaneously thinking, "Drop it! Come on! Drop it!" have an unnerving effect on the hot dog assembler, impairing his/her hand-eye coordination.

Linoleum sharks, that's what they are. Drop just a little piece of edible substance on the floor, and the kitchen turns into a suburban version of the Discovery Channel.