Monday, September 3, 2007

men who don't understand "no", and the women who die to them.

"A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity."

--Robert A. Heinlein

You know, I read stuff like this all the time. In fact, it seems that nary a day goes by when there's not at least one news item about a female being injured or killed by a male who has a hard time parsing the meaning of the word "no", or the phrase "not interested".

I have no respect at all for men who visit violence on women. Part of that may stem from an upbringing in a house where the title of Dad's Punching Bag was frequently passed back and forth between my mother and myself. (Dad didn't like the bookishness and "girly ways" of his oldest son, you see.) I've never had an ounce of tolerance or understanding for bullies, and that even extends to people who order around the hired help. Watching how your date treats the waiter can be an enlightening insight into his or her character--they'll put on a mask for you on the first few dates, but they'll tend to let their true personality peek out when talking to the guy who brings them their food.

With the sheer amount of horror stories in the news that involve women losing their lives at the hands of psychotic ex-boyfriends or -husbands, it's mind-boggling to see that the most ardent defenders of women's rights can usually be counted on to also ardently oppose the use of guns for self-defense. The whole problem with female victimization by males is the fact that males are usually physically stronger--they can bring more force to bear. The tool that is best suited to remove that force disparity is the firearm, but that tool is decried as a phallic symbol of violence.

Use your keys to scratch the guy, they'll tell you. (Your round-edged safety key for your Prius is certain to inflict disabling pain on the guy who's hopped up on adrenaline and testosterone.)

Use mace or pepper spray, they'll suggest. (Just make sure that you don't spray it into the wind, that you manage to point the usually unergonomic container in the right direction in all that excitement, and that your ex-beau isn't one of the numerous people who are impervious to that stuff when under the influence of adrenaline or alcohol.)

Scream for help or blow a whistle, they say. (And hope there's another strong male nearby who can use force on your behalf--if your attacker doesn't crank it up a notch to stop that inconvenient ruckus, that is.)

Oh, and then there's the magical Scroll of Protection, the Restraining Order.

Restraining orders are pieces of paper. They have no magical properties, and they're not bullet-proof. A restraining order always requires a gun to back it up. The only difference between a restraining order taken out by a gun-toting woman and one taken out by a pacifist, "non-violent" woman is whether the gun is already at the scene of the assault, or whether it needs to be carried there in the holster of a cop. That difference, however, may very well determine who gets carried off in the body bag when all is said and done.

If the feminist movement was truly about empowerment, they'd put legal concealed carry at the very top of their priority list for political action. There's nothing that empowers a person like allowing them possession of the tools to negate all differences in strength and size.

Not all men are violent and psychotic sons-of-bitches who have a hard time taking rejection. Hell, not even the majority of men fall into that category. There are, however, enough of them out there that my daughter will be taught from an early age to walk softly and carry a big stick.

She'll know that she always has the right to say "no", and "not interested", and she'll always have the means to back up that right if she happens to come across some knuckle-dragging simian who thinks that any woman he dates automatically becomes his property.

We all have the right to self-ownership, male or female. There's an astonishing number of females who have a special someone in their lives who has never learned that lesson, and who continues to be an uninvited presence.

Don't buy the bull about non-violence and the moral superiority of it. When the chips are down, it'll be your body in a bag, and you'll be just another news item. Never initiate force, but never shy away from it if someone else visits it upon you. By all means, take out a restraining order. But do yourself a favor and empower yourself. Buy a gun, learn how to use it, and take control of your fate--and if your persistent admirer decides to walk right through that restraining order and make sure that "if I can't have her, nobody else will," then shoot the bastard dead.

1 comment:

  1. Well said sir. Well said indeed. Keep up the fine writing.