Via my friend Mark, a long-suffering subject of the Queen, comes this outrageous little tale from the Place Formerly Known As Great Britain.
The Cliff Notes: a woman is accosted by two hoodlums while dropping her son off at his house. One of the yobs blocks the path behind her car with three dogs, and the other jumps onto her hood and grins through the windshield, telling her that "she's not going anywhere."
She revs the engine, asks the yob on the hood repeatedly to move off, and honks her horn for a minute. Then she puts the car in gear, and weaves the front end a bit at 10mph. When the yob on the hood of her car still hangs on, she gives the brakes a tap to fling him off, unhurt.
She drives a bit, pulls over by the side of the road, and dilligently calls 999 to report the matter to the police.
They show up...and arrest her, for "dangerous driving". She ends up having to hire a lawyer and spend the next 18 months defending herself against the charge.
The two yobs are not charged with anything.
It seems that the powers in charge of the UK have lost the ability to properly distinguish between offender and victim. My friend Mark asked whether 1-800-MARINES was still the proper number to dial to request an invasion...I told him to just leave a message with his name and the country to be invaded, and the Gator Navy would be dispatched within 24 hours.