caloriegram.

I just received a package from my friend Thorsten in Germany. Contents: thirteen pounds of Kinderschokolade, one of my vices acquired during childhood in the old Fatherland.

I notice they've replaced the smarmy kid that has graced the front of the box since I was running around in diapers. I guess his 1970s hairstyle was getting a bit dated, so now the boxes have a picture of an entirely different smarmy kid, this one with an updated haircut.

Also in the package: two pairs of the old-style German Army "Moleskin" olive green BDU pants. They look and feel just like the ones issued to me one cold January day in Weingarten, back in 1989. Like Thorsten says, they're half as expensive as 5.11 pants and last about twice as long. Come to think of it, I don't recall ever ripping a pair, and they take eons to wear out.

Ah, nostalgia. I feel like an old geezer whenever we talk about our time in the service, back when the Bundeswehr was staffed and equipped to fight WWIII against the Soviets in Fulda Gap. Those were the days...

Back then we had real rifles, yessir! G3 in 7.62x51mm, not those lightweight plastic Lego rifles they have nowadays! We were wearing olive green, not blotchy camo, and our helmets were made of steel, not that lightweight Kevlar stuff! Our Bundeswehr had twelve divisions, half of which were Panzer divisions stocked to the teeth with Leopard 2 MBTs, not the handful of Rapid Reaction "Team Germany: Peace Police" divisions they have now.

Now excuse me while grab my cane and chase some kids off my lawn...