investors wanted.

I have a business idea that has the potential to be an international attraction for like-minded folks all over the world.

It's a gunshop/range/bar/walk-in humidor/bookstore called...wait for it...."The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms." The business goal is to create the most politically incorrect establishment of its kind in the world, something that will induce heart attacks in the patchouli-and-Birkenstocks crowd merely by reading about it in the newspaper.

The gunshop part will have a 25-lane climate-controlled indoor range, and tactical black plastic will live side-by side with walnut and blued steel. There will be a vast collection of rentals, including buzzguns, and every rental gun with screw-on grips will have genuine ivory grip panels.

Rental targets will include kittens (for rimfire plinking), baby seals (for casual or light shooting) or manatees (for buzzguns or heavy-duty practice; those manatees take a lot more hits before falling apart.) Maybe we can have an outdoor skeet/trap course where the clay throwers toss spotted owls and songbirds.

We'll sell holsters and belts exclusively made from exotic animal skins: snake, alligator, and anything else that's pretty-skinned and on the endangered species list.

The bar will be clad in some exotic Brazilian hardwood right from the middle of the rainforest. Bar stools will be covered in seal fur. Spit buckets and trash cans will be mink-lined genuine elephant feet. Drinking and shooting will be permitted; just make sure you're bonded for restitution if you shoot anything you didn't buy. There'll be smoking allowed everywhere, including the firing line, and the lane trays will have cupholders for pint, martini, and lowball glasses.

Overhead music will be gun-related classics like "Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner", "Lawyers, Guns and Money", and similar crowd pleasers.

I'm still working on a sufficiently non-PC book assortment to offer in the bookstore, and it goes without saying that the humidor will feature smuggled Cuban cigars as well as every smokable intoxicant yet devised by humanity.

I figure I'll need about $20 million or so to get this baby off the ground. Who's in?