hyphenated-americans.
People who refer to themselves as something-Americans really make me want to knock them upside the head.
Drag out your passport, if you have one. Check the front of it. If it says "United States of America", you're an American--period, full stop, end of story. It doesn't matter what your skin color, when your grandfather hopped off the boat at Ellis Island, what country he hailed from before he hopped on that boat, which language he spoke before he came here, or even if he came here from somewhere else at all. You are an American. No hyphens, no qualifications, no prefix, no nothing.
You're not an Italian just because your great-grandfather was born in Genoa, and because you know how to cook gnocchi. You're not Irish because your name starts with Mac or O', or because you like to swill Guinness or wear a shamrock in your lapel. Be proud of your family history all you want, honor your ancestors, cook spaghetti or haggis or sauerkraut at home, but for all that's good and proper, don't call yourself anything but American.
There's plenty of balkanization out in the world, especially since the end of the Cold War. Every village in the former Soviet Union or Yugoslavia wants to have statehood now, and all that it does is create a multitude of warring little tribes, jealously guarding their little patches of ground against encroachment by "the others", whether those others are defined by clothing, language, face paint, diet, hygiene habits, or whatever name they choose to call their deity.
We don't need that kind of petty shit in America. It's divisive and destructive, and it does nothing but perpetuate neolithic tribal warfare. Here in the United States, most good and decent folks don't give a hoot whether their neighbor is black, white, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, or Great Pumpkin worshiper, as long as he minds his own business and keeps his hands to himself. America is not a funny outfit, or a chant, or a collective of ancestors. America isn't a religion, or a skin color, or a language, or a way of cooking, and anyone who claims such a thing deserves a swift kick in the ass and a ticket to whatever homogeneous country best suits their personal desires for uniformity of pigmentation or religion or diet or what-the-fuck-ever.
Speak English, speak Spanish, speak Farsi, drink green beer, play a bagpipe, wear a beret, smoke filterless Gaulois, ride your Harley with a pickelhaube, or build a Shinto shrine in your backyard if you want, but don't call yourself anything but American.
Amen.
I'd add something more, but you said it all.
Ambulance Driver said...
8:52 PM
As an individualist I can certainly agree that it's detrimental to think of yourself as part of a group, but then that applies to the term "American" too. I guess I'll have to think on that a while.
As for balkanization, I don't see that as a bad thing. While there's no gov't like no gov't, as long as we're stuck with it, the smaller the units of gov't the easier they are to keep in line. Then the statists can manage themselves straight to hell and the rest of us can enjoy whatever level of freedom we're comfortable with in our own little balkan territory. I just don't see the "warring factions" scenario playing out myself.
7.62x54r said...
9:17 PM
SERIOUSLY! I couldn't have said it better myself.
I mean, shit, if I was to start calling myself by my hyphenated heritage, it would take so damned long that I'd need a haircut by the time I was finished. And that, in my opinion, is what's so great about this country (in terms of the point of it): No one CARES where you come from! You're here now, so act like it. :-)
Bonnie said...
11:06 PM
And [i]that[i], ladies and gentlemen, is why we like to have - and truly need - true immigrants.
The person who has to [i]work[/i] to be an American, who comes here to [i]be[/i] an American - that right there is the treasure that keeps us who we are by [i]reminding[/i] us who we are.
Thanks Marko.
Kaylee said...
12:06 AM
(and one of these days I'll remember when to use which brackets. Bother.)
:)
kaylee said...
12:07 AM
Wear a beret?
Whoah there sport. Lets not get carried away....
Jason said...
7:40 AM
Hooah!
Qualified with the German ETTs today, btw. Some of my favorite people in this damned country...
jrshirley said...
7:42 AM
Theodore Roosevelt's version, 1915-
http://www.rpatrick.com/USA/americanism/
staghounds said...
9:51 AM
oops, does this link to Theodore Roosevelt's version, 1915work?
text
staghounds said...
10:08 AM
Speaking as a non-American, there is another good reason for not calling yourself an Irish-American, Italian-American, Martian-American, whatever. People who actually live in those places will laugh at you.
You can enjoy some romantic image of these places all you want, but it does not make you one of them. You're Americans, and that should be good enough for anyone.
JQ said...
10:32 AM
Besides, if your family's been here more than a generation, you could run out of hyphens in a hurry. I'd look pretty silly calling myself a German-Norwegian-Polish-Swedish-American...
Tam said...
11:34 AM
I'm a Texan, damnit! Divisive as hell and proud of it!
Anonymous said...
6:33 PM
Thank you, Marko.
HollyB said...
9:22 PM
Well said, Wingie.
Not gonna help me with the urge to lamp the next snaggle-toothed Englandian who says "Yeah, well, you're an honourary Brit. You don't sound American and you don't act American (!!) so you're British."
The (!!) is because most people who say that haven't met an American in their lives. The snide *****s
Mark said...
6:46 AM
I blame the census and school questions that ASK if you are one of the hyphenated breed.
They're all BS.
joated said...
8:45 PM
Agreed. I'll be applying to college soon. Under "ethnicity" I'm putting "American (USA)". It's time to put an end to all these stupid false distinctions.
WildWeathel said...
10:46 AM